Whamming by Christine Waresak
A pale elderly man, outsized in height and girth and sporting a ducktail beard and polka dot ascot, stands onstage. A sealed deck of cards is nestled in his left hand. In his right, he holds a cane. It is October 9, 1985, Hollywood, and he is a guest on The Merv Griffin Show. An iridescent curtain shimmers behind him.
“We’re going to do a little card cheating,” he says.
His voice, that voice, glitters on the audience like sunshine on an ocean. In their lives outside this TV studio, they are cashiers and claims adjusters, nurses and grocery store managers. They are harried and bored. The luxurious baritone of this man’s voice transports them. It’s not just the tone and resonance, which are rich and full; it is what his voice confers: confidence, intimacy, a spring of well-being.
What do the rumors—he’s impossible to work with, prone to rants, washed up—the obesity, and the embarrassing wine commercials matter? Face to face, he is irresistible. They settle into their seats. They give themselves over like children.